Mr. Crankypants is tired of these Christmas lies that we are feeding to children. So it’s time to tell the truth. No, Virginia, there is no —
—wait, what’s that sound? Who’s that over in the corner? What’s— It sounds like the pitter-patter of little feet—
—oh my God! The elves! The elv—
Ha! Caught at last in his own web of cyncism! May the Elves be gentle.
They won’t be if they are Pratchett style elves.
God help Mr. C. if they are Terry Pratchet style elves — and it will be even worse for Mr. C. if they were the Wee Free Men.
Especially if he’s as tall as Dan. A real bigjob.