So I got a slimy email message today from a reality TV producer. It reads in part:
Let me take a moment to give you a brief rundown of exactly what we’re looking for and hoping to accomplish. First of all, I’m a Casting Producer for Shed Media. We are currently working on a great program that promotes family values by taking teens with relatable [sic] adolescent problems (smoking, drinking, defying authority, laziness, etc), and placing them with loving, welcoming, and structured families in another part of America for one week. The goal is to get to a ‘breakthrough point’ with the teens, help them turn around their attitudes, and maybe give them a new perspective on the relationship they have with their own parents.
All around the Bay Area we will be looking for those families with a big heart and an open home who would like to mentor two unruly teens for a week. Does this family have experience in dealing with teenagers? Do they have strict morals, guidelines, and expectations for teenagers already living in their home? If so, they may be just what we are looking for!
I wiped the slime off myself, and sent off this reply:
Dear Tyler Benton,
As someone who’s spent 16 years in youth ministry, a week-long placement isn’t going to solve any problems for a troubled teen. I can’t recommend using troubled teens for entertainment purposes, nor do I believe that a troubled teen who is a legal minor can give informed consent to appear on reality TV. The short answer is “No.”
Sincerely,
Dan Harper
My reply is brief because I’m quite sure he won’t read it. If I thought there were any chance he would read my reply, I would tell him that it sounds to me as though he needs a week-long televised placement with a family that would turn his unethical and exploitative attitudes around.
If you’d like to respond to him directly, I’d be happy to pass along his email address and work phone number.
I think it’d take more than a week to straighten him out.
Good for you!
As a Child Developmentalist, I fully support your position and email. :)
Nice job of clearly stating the issues.
Amy@1
That gives me an idea for a reality show – take reality TV producers/directors/writers and place them in religious community for a year (each delinquent placed in a different denomination.) Stir and serve. How do we measure the results?
Paul @ 4 — You made me laugh out loud. Now I’m trying to decide which reality show people I’d want in this church… heh, heh, heh….
Well, by golly, I got a reply from this TV person:
To which I replied as follows:
Would I really give him a good talking-to if her were a member of this church? Well, I’d actually probably be very nice about it, and it would be more pastoral than prophetic in tone. But I couldn’t resist throwing his own ideas back at him, since from my point of view he has just as much of an attitude problem as the teens in his shows — he’s putting teens in authoritarian homes where they have to say “sir and “ma’am,” and it would be fun to see Tyler Benton put in that same situation.
Dan,
…hmm. Shed Media, I believe, is the group that produces Super Nanny which has been quite successful teaching parenting skills. This sounds like an adolescent take on that show. Frankly, I don’t see much harm in it, and the teens might actually get something out of it. That said, I’ll freely admit I have NO EXPERIENCE working with teenagers – or kids of any age for that matter. But I’d wager that if one of those teens was placed in your home, they would get something out of it.
Victor @ 7 — Super Nanny is OK, I guess. But I still wonder there whether there’s any long term effect — when Super Nanny goes away, is there any real change? And how does the exposure on that show affect a child’s interaction with peers or other adults?
Maybe part of the reason I’m so skeptical is that I used to be in the residential construction industry in the Boston area, and I learned some behind-the-scenes dirt about the TV show “This Old House.” They were notorious for going way over budget, and for having battles with historic district commissions — and this has been documented by journalists, as in this article from 1998. And don’t forget the ill effects of the first reality TV show, “American Family.”
TV reality shows are not supposed to help you, they are supposed to make money for their producers (yes, I know “this Old House” is public television, but it has paid salaries to its producers and cast for decades, and the tie-in merchandise is making money for all of them). If adults want to bankrupt themselves by hiring “this Old House” as a general contractor, that’s their problem — but when legal minors are involved, I do start feeling that kids are being exploited.
Only two real possibilities…
1) the people at Shed didn’t do a shred of research
or
2) they’re incredibly insincere.
could be both, i suppose.
@ Pastor Dan, or should I call you ‘Bully Dan’?- I think you owe someone an apology. I’m glad you posted the letter sent to you so we could judge for ourselves how ‘slimy’ it was. That being said, please point out what *was* slimy- the fact that it was a polite, well written (despite the incorrect spelling you pointed out), non-threatening, and straightforward request… or something else I didn’t see?
If you have issues with the show, talk about that, but how dare you name someone (who likely has no control over what you’re unhappy with) and offer up his phone number and email address? And then even worse- you toss out a good old ‘Give him a taste of his own medicine- yeah!’, so hungry readers could be fed that fantasy chum. I mean, look at that email- he writes that their goal is ‘to … help them turn around their attitudes…’ What a SLIMY person! And he’s asking for any references of ADULTS (not teens) from YOU! How SLIMY, asking you that! You of all people! He deserves something terrible for that- a taste of his own medicine! Tell me: what is it with modern Christians and their taste for blood? Of course, that’s a generalization- but so is your treatment of this person.
Just answer me this- what kind of email would have had to come from this show to *not* make you blow up and publicly berate him? I’m guessing the truth is that short of asking your advice about how to change the show itself (something I would bet is not in the job description of a casting person), that nothing would have affected your reaction. You think this show is slimy (even though you have never seen it), so you feel the need to openly bully someone (a casting person!) who sent you a polite and reasonable request for help, calling him out with backhand threats and unsubstantiated insults, even after he responded to your denial with more politeness. Wow. You should be on Fox News, you jerk.
Despite the sex toy website link on the front page (condomania), ultimately your behavior is no different from those less progressive. After reading this, there’s no question as to why your office is referred to as ‘the bully pulpit’, and what little I know of the UU movement is now tainted with the disgust of your smarmy (or is that Slimy) treatment of others. As my grandmother would say… ‘You should know better.’