Mr. Crankypants is watching as people write about their resolutions for the new year on their blogs, and on Facebook. Mr. Crankypants says: Hah! half these resolutions will be forgotten within a month, and another third will be forgotten by next Wednesday. And the remaining sixth? — forgotten by tomorrow morning.

Despite that law of nature, Mr. C. will make his own resolution: he resolves to be even crankier in the new year. Especially when it comes to liberal religion and California state politics.

Wait, what was that new year’s resolution? Can’t remember now. Getting crankier and crankier because can’t remember. #@$%!