Category Archives: Pastoral care

Rough description of marriage in contemporary Unitarian Universalism

With all the current debate about the meaning of marriage, particularly in the context of the so-called “culture wars,” I decided to summarize what I know about marriage as it is practiced in, and understood by, Unitarian Universalist congregations today. This is a descriptive rather than a prescriptive summary; I am not trying to prescribe what “real” marriage is; I am not trying to tell how you should do marriage; I am trying to describe marriage as I have observed it in my affiliation with nine different congregations with varying theological emphases.

Covenantal basis | Forms | Same-sex marriage | Divorce | Changes and challenges | Life in the married state

Three dimensions of a covenantal basis for marriage

The most obvious thing to say about Unitarian Universalist marriage is that it is a covenant; that is, it is a complex of promises exchanged by individuals, promises that are designed to bind them together in relationship. Unitarian Universalist marriage has three basic dimensions: (1) a personal relationship between the individuals who are married; (2) a public or social relationship between the individuals being married and a wider social web of relationships (that wider web of relationships may include family, friends, congregation, wider local community); these first two dimensions may be characterized as horizontal relationships, i.e., relationships between persons. The third dimension may be characterized as the vertical dimension: (3) a relationship with something larger than individual humans or human organizations. This third dimension tends to be flattened or barely acknowledged in many Unitarian Universalist marriages, and may be acknowledged only as some implicit or off-hand appeal to larger ideals; other Unitarian Universalist marriages refer explicitly to a deity (God, Goddess, etc.) or deities, or to something like Bernard Loomer’s theological concept of the Web of Life. However each dimension happens to be understood, Unitarian Universalist marriage is a covenant, a set of promises, encompassing all three of these dimensions. Continue reading →

Hospice choirs in New England

I’m passing along the following announcement about hospice choirs (see the end of the post for a definition of “hospice choir”):

The hospice choir movement has begun to blossom in New England, primarily thanks to Hallowell and its founder, Kathy Leo, who has given workshops all over New England.

We started our choir, Eventide Singers, in western Massachusetts in October 2007. There are others, too. Some are directly associated with hospice organizations such as The Noyana Singers; some are directly connected with a church such as the Harbour Singers; and others, including Eventide, are separate organizations.

If you are interested in this subject you might wish to visit the Chalice of Repose which, for thirty years has been studying and teaching “prescriptive music” to be performed by “contemplative musicians.”

Long story short, I am researching for all existing hospice choirs to assemble into a network for the purpose of sharing information, repertoire and experience.

Any information you may have on such choirs will be greatly apprecated.

Thanks in advance,

John Bos
Founder
Eventide Singers
eventidesingers AT verizon DOT net

Hospice choirs are groups of singers who sing for dying people, or sometimes more specifically for people in hospice care. Kate Munger’s Threshold Choir is probably the best-known example of a hospice choir. The repertoire is carefully selected, and the performance is usually by two or three singers practiced in singing in a low-volume, healing tone of voice. Many hospice choirs work with the rest of the healing team, helping people at the end of life to navigate the natural process of dying with dignity and serenity.

While I’ve never had the opportunity to work with one directly as part of a care-giving team, I’m a fan of the hospice choir concept. If you know of a hospice choir, please let John Bos know. And if you want to start your own hospice choir in your church, follow some of the above links to learn more and to make connections.