Category Archives: Political culture

Reasons to vote the Elder God Party in November

The Mainstream Media (MSM) had absolutely no coverage of the Elder God Party’s convention. Of course, it is possible that MSM sent reporters to the convention, but upon seeing C’thulhu in person they simply descended into slavering, gibbering madness. Or it may be a vast MSM conspiracy to prevent the message of the Elder God Party from reaching you, the voter.

Whether it’s due to incompetence or malice, if the MSM aren’t going to cover the Elder God Party, clearly it’s up to feisty independent bloggers like me to bring you the rest of the story about the presidential elections. In this post, I’m going to compare the Elder God Party candidates with their Democratic and Republican counterparts.

First, let’s compare the vice-presidential candidates.

They say that Sarah Palin is attractive, but let’s look at Shoggoth. With myriads of temporary eyes forming and un-forming as pustules of greenish light all over its faintly luminous body, what’s not to like? And people say Palin is the perfect vice-presidential candidate because she is amorphous and can take on any shape she chooses from tundra populist to libertarian to right-wing gun nut, but the amoeba-like Shoggoth is far more amorphous than even Sarah Palin.

They say that Joe Biden has lots of experience, but Shoggoth says, “Experience, schmexperience.” Actually, Sarah Palin says that, but Shoggoth doesn’t say anything. When the star-headed Old Ones on this planet had synthesized their simple food forms and bred a good supply of Shoggoths, they allowed other cell groups to develop into other forms of animal and vegetable life for sundry purposes, but they will extirpate Joe Biden when his presence becomes troublesome. Then Shoggoth will bear down upon Joe Biden, crushing the frantic penguins and slithering over the glistening floor that it and its kind had swept so evilly free of all litter….

Next, let’s compare the presidential candidates.

John McCain is making a virtue of his age, referring to himself as a “wrinkly old white-haired guy” in Paris Hilton’s campaign video. But C’thulhu is far, far older than McCain, and after vingtillions of years is loose again and ravening for delight. Bolder than the storied Cyclops, great Cthulhu will slide greasily towards McCain and pursue him with vast wave-raising strokes of cosmic potency, and McCain will look back and go mad, laughing shrilly as he keeps on laughing at intervals, wandering deliriously until he chooses Sarah Palin as a running mate. Oh wait, he already did that.

Then Barack Obama steps into the ring, pushing his way through the ropes. C’thulhu underestimates him, and goes for an immediate pin, but Obama manages to get his foot under the ropes for a rope break. The referee (it’s a guest referee named Diebold) pulls them apart, and C’thulhu circles warily, realizing that Obama might actually know something about wrestling. Obama feints left, grabs C’thulhu and turns the monster upside down, — yes, he’s doing a piledriver, driving C’thulhu’s head repeatedly into the mat! But C’thulhu enjoys this, then reaches out a tentacle and pulls Obama’s feet out from under him! Obama goes down, C’thulhu has him in a submission hold! It looks like it’s all over, but Obama manages to touch the rope again, and it’s another rope break. Suddenly Obama pins C’thulhu and wins, but no!! Deibold the referee isn’t looking, so it doesn’t count! So the referee arbitrarily decides gives the match to C’thulhu. C’thulhu wins! The world screams with fright and frenzy!

So be a good minion and just vote Elder God Party in November, because no matter who you vote for, they’re going to win.

H. P. Lovecraft quotes from here.

Exclusive interview

Today, I was granted an official interview with Owen, the dog who has recently declared himself a third-party presidential candidate. We spoke in his back yard during a game of fetch — Owen said he would answer one question for every toss of the tennis ball. Here’s a full transcript of our interview:

Owen, what’s your energy policy?

I have lots of energy! Throw the ball!

What will you do about Iraq, if you are elected?

I’ll give everybody lots of treats! And I’ll bring the troops home!

What do you think of Paris Hilton?

Sorry, but any human who keep their dog in a purse is not to be trusted.

Would you like to comment on the other two candidates?

I like them! Let’s go for a walk!

Owen ended the interview at this point, so that Jean, his campaign manager, could drive him to the woods to go for a walk. I was allowed to accompany them on the walk (it was very difficult keeping up with the candidate, who is in excellent physical condition and ran the whole time), but I agreed that I would not print any of our unofficial conversation. I can say, however, that recently Owen has learned how to swim and he’s quite good at it.

New third-party candidate

I have been an avid supporter of C’thulhu for president (“Why choose a lesser evil when you can have the greatest evil of all?”). However, I admit that I have been bothered by the Elder God Party’s platform — “Bow down in fear, pitiful minion, and prepare to meet your doom” — is just too similar to the platforms of the Democratic Party and Republican Party. I want a third-party candidate who can differentiate him/her/itself from the major party candidates.

I recently learned that a new third-party candidate, Owen W. Indy Roosevelt Jones Jr., has announced that he will be running for president. Owen (he likes to be on a first name basis with people) has formed a new party, the Richmond Canine Party, colloquially known as the “Let’s Go to the Dogs Party.” In an exclusive interview with blogger Writewrite, Owen has revealed his platform:

“Food, water, shots, walks, dog parks, treats, belly rubs, fetch. For everyone.” Then he grinned, really big. “And all dogs get to sleep on the bed.”…

He wagged his tail, picked up his tennis ball, and asked to go out and start the campaign.

Now that’s a candidate I can support.

Anti-intellectualism in the U.S.

In this blog post, Julius Lester articulates something I’ve been thinking about recently. Lester says:

There are many who wonder if a black man can be elected president. That is not my fear. I wonder if someone who as intelligent as he is can be elected president.
Emphasis mine.

The United States is an anti-intellectual country these days. Where the prejudice against intellectuals comes from I don’t know; but I know it’s there. I have many quarrels with Obama (especially his repudiation of his liberal church), but I acknowledge that he is a politician who does not feel compelled to break things down into 30 second sound bites devoid of all nuance. He does not pander to the lowest common denominator. He is willing to be intelligent in public. An intellectual politician? — this is almost inbelievable.

Julius Lester believes that Obama will get elected “if the young vote in unprecedented numbers”; otherwise, older voters who “resent his intelligence” could keep him from getting elected. Certainly, the young adults I know are more open to nuance than older generations. Certainly, United States generation who are just a little bit older than I have been notable since the 1960s for letting rigid ideology trump intelligence (as is true of George W. Bush), or worse yet for having no deeply-felt idealism to guide their intelligence (as seemed true of Bill Clinton).

But, cynic that I am, I doubt that the anti-intellectual climate of the United States is moderating in the younger generations. But what do you think? Do you sense more toleration for intellectuals in your part of the United States these days — or less?

Anecdotes and one-liners

The Coalition Against Poverty and the Coalition for Social Justice held their annual awards dinner tonight. I was asked to do the invocation, and I stayed to see the awards, and to hear the keynote speaker, Rep. Barney Frank.

Frank was introduced by a singer-sognwriter named Bill Harley, who committed the usual sin of playing and singing way too loudly, but who did the unusual and (mercifully) only played three songs. In introducing Frank, Harley told a story about going to perform somewhere in Alabama. There he wound up talking to someone who, upon learning Harley was from Massachusetts, started berating him for being from the state that elected Ted Kennedy as senator. “Stop it,” said Harley, “Ted Kennedy is the only senator who stands up for the poor.” Great anecdote — not sure what it had to do with Barney Frank.

Barney Frank went on to give an extemporaneous talk, marked by his trademark wit and intelligence. Unfortunately, his talk didn’t really hold together, but he got off some good anecdotes and one-liners, of which I noted down three:

Frank, who is gay, mentioned that he has been accused by right wingers of pushing a “radical homosexual agenda.” But, he said, his main gay rights issues are to allow GLBTQ people to “join the military, get married, and hold down a job.” That’s not a radical agenda, he said, “that’s about as bourgeois as it gets.”

While saying he supported capitalism, he said that he supported capitalism with significant government regulation. He noted that poverty has increased during the Bush administration. Frank reminded us that the Republicans claimed that a “rising tide floats all boats,” i.e., that any improvement in the economy will help all persons. In reply to this he said, “Yes, a rising tide floats all boats, but some poor people don’t have boats, and they’re standing on tiptoes now, and the tide’s going to go over their heads.”

In a long meandering digression, he talked about the importance of community colleges and state universities, because these institutions give wide access to higher education. This led to a comment about nursing programs in Massachusetts state colleges — although there’s a desparate need for nurses, and although there are plenty of young people who want to become nurses, there aren’t enough slots in nursing programs to meet either demand. One local nursing college, according to Frank, has only 42 slots for nursing students, but demand is three times that. If we’d fund community colleges better, said Frank, we’d have more nurses, all of whom could easily find jobs. “These are good jobs,” said Frank. “They’re not going anywhere. You can’t outsource them because somebody can’t stick a needle in your ass from Mumbai.”

Not one of Franks’ better talks overall, but the witty bits were delightfully caustic.

More of Frank’s wit in this New York Slime profile.

Generation gap

I’ve been interested in the generational wars that we have seen in the presidential primaries. Hillary Clinton, like George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, is a product of the 1960s; culturally she is a Baby Boomer. Barack Obama, although demographically a member of the post-war “baby boom,” is a product of the 1970s and 1980s; culturally he is a Gen-Xer. A big part of Obama’s political strategy has been to cast Clinton as the out-of-touch Baby Boomer who doesn’t understand a post-racial, post-protest, post-New-Left, postmodern world.

I will be curious to see if Obama follows the same strategy with John McCain, who is not a Baby Boomer. McCain is a product of the late 1940s and 1950s; culturally, he is a member of the generation who dressed in gray flannel suits. I’d be tempted to call McCain a member of the Older Generation. How will Obama deal with the older generation? The Baby Boomer strategy of dealing with elders involved open warfare and ad hominem attacks. But I expect Obama to deal with McCain the same way he dealt with Jeremiah Wright: dismiss him as out of touch and out-dated, and be vaguely patronizing.

I’m willing to bet that other Gen-Xers will copy this strategy in their own lives. For example, in churches I expect that Gen-Xers will start being dismissive of the Baby Boomers who run most churches these days. I expect them to look pityingly at the Boomers, but not engage in direct conflict with the Boomer power structure. I expect them to start talking about what it might mean to be a post-racial church and a post-protest church. I expect all this will drive the Boomers crazy. Indeed, some of this is happening now.

The culture of presidential politics tends to have influence in the wider culture. When Bill Clinton insisted that fellatio wasn’t really sex, I was doing a lot of youth ministry, and I was very aware that more and more kids got involved in fellatio at a younger and younger age. With George W. Bush’s tendency to authoritarianism, I see many young people willing to accept a large degree of authoritarianism in their lives. So where else might the Obama/Gen-X trend play out?…

For example, if Barack Obama wins the presidential election in November — if he even runs a close race — what might that mean for the 2009 election for a new president of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA)? Right now, we have two declared candidates, both of whom are Baby Boomers, and both of whom are pretty much indistinguishable. If a Gen-X candidate were to emerge in the next few months, I’d be willing to bet that s/he could easily win the UUA election. I can think of three or four possible Gen-Xers whom I would vote for. So if you happen to know a viable Gen-X candidate for UUA president, encourage him/her to make some connections at General Assembly….

Martin Marty nails it

Martin Marty writes about the Barack Obama / Jeremiah Wright ruckus in the most recent issue of Christian Century magazine. Marty begins by saying: “This spring a certain Christian layperson has been criticized for not exiting his local church when he disagreed with something his pastor preached.” Just framing the Obama/Wright ruckus in this way shows how silly the whole thing is. Good grief, if everyone who disagreed with something I’ve preached left First Unitarian in New Bedford, the pews would be empty.

Perhaps Obama is just showing what is probably true of every American politician — that he values his political ambitions more than he values a religious community that has nurtured him and his family. Maybe that’s just the price you have to pay to become president of the United States, and maybe if you’re a black man playing politics in the United States the price is a lot higher — after all, we have heard nothing about McCain’s minister, or Clinton’s minister, yet surely they have each said things that would be politically embarrassing. And none of this reflects well on the American political process.

Well, you should go read Marty’s column (Link) — it’s funny and made me laugh. Given the sorry state of this presidential election, I needed a good laugh.

William Howard Taft Attack Ad

In the 1908 U.S. presidential election, William Howard Taft was attacked for his Unitarianism. He refused to respond to the attacks, and won the election. But imagine if his opponents had had TV attack ads in their arsenal….

Screen grab from video showing Taft.

A note about the historical facts behind this attack ad….

The [1908 presidential] campaign was notable for the vicious attacks on Taft’s Unitarianism, particularly in the Midwest. Evangelical Protestants, in a flood of letters and newspaper articles, accused him of being an infidel, a Catholic, etc. His religion was no secret. He attended All Souls Church faithfully. Roosevelt and others responded sharply to the attacks. Following his own instincts, as well as the advice of the President, Elihu Root, and other Republican leaders, he said nothing himself in response. Bryan did not attack Taft personally, but he would not criticize those who did, thereby implying that he agreed with them. (Link.)

Any resemblance between the content of this attack ad, and attacks on the religious liberal running in the 2008 U. S. presidential primaries, is entirely intentional. 1:27.

Note: Although blip.tv is now defunct, I had a copy of this video and uploaded it to Vimeo. Click on the image above to view the video.