Category Archives: Arts & culture

15 days and counting

We haven’t had DSL service for 15 days now. Verizon has been out to our apartment twice, and we have spent hours (literally) on the phone with their tech support people. Still no DSL. They say they almost have the problem solved now, and all it will take is one last visit to our apartment by one of their techs. But I am not holding my breath.

What was the line on that old television comedy show?… “We’re the phone company. We don’t have to care.”

Until Verizon finally effects a repair, I am using the free wifi at our local coffee shop, and posting to this blog when I can. But don’t be surprised if I skip a day now and then.

Khakis as a regional marker

When I was out visiting my sister in Indiana, we got to talking about regional differences in the United States. One of my sister’s friends looked down at the trousers I was wearing — somewhat threadbare khakis with a coffee stain or grease stain here and there.

This woman, who is from California, smiled when she saw my khakis. “You Easterners with your khakis. You always wear khakis. It’s cute.”

I did not tell her about the pair of vintage Levi 501s that I bought when we lived in Oakland. I just smiled and said, “Of course we wear khakis. They’re very practical.” Which is true:– even with coffee and grease stains, khakis can look fairly respectable.

On the long drive back to New England, at a rest area near Albany, I saw a man wearing khaki pants and a neat tan shirt and a baseball cap, and I knew I was getting close to home:– there is a certain class of New England working man — cabinetmakers, high-end landscapers, sculptors even — for whom that is a kind of uniform. Then there are the upper middle class New Englanders who wear crisply-pressed khakis pants with boat shoes and woven leather belts, which is another way to wear khaki pants. And there are the guys like me, ministers and teachers and people in the non-profit world, who wear khakis and button-down Oxford shirts with ties to the office. But it is true that I did not see anyone wearing khakis when I was in Indiana.

Canadian reading list

John Mutford of Yellowknife, NWT, has developed a really good reading list for Canadian literature for the Canadian Book Challenge he promoted on his blog “The Book Mine Set.” Alas, the challenge is now over, but it’s still a good reading list if you want an introduction to Canadian lit. Yes, I have quibbles (what, no Frederick Philip Grove? — Haliburton but no Raddall?), but on the other hand he gets bonus points for including poetry, non-fiction, young adult books, and children’s books on his list.

Via.

Obligatory Olympics post

No, Mr. Crankypants will not be watching the Olympics on television.

Mr. Crankypants is not interested in watching hour after hour of “human interest” crap. Especially when it is inarticulate and boring “human interest” crap:– “So, how did you feel when you won that medal?” “Ah, I felt, ah, well I felt, you know, pretty good, I guess, but it still hasn’t sunk in, ah, you know….”

Furthermore, the only Olympic sport that Mr. Crankypants might have some mild interest in — badminton — will not be shown on American television. If American badminton players Howard Bach and Bob Malaythong win a medal in badminton (as now seems quite possible), you might see video footage of them receiving their medals and being interviewed about how they feel. But you won’t see a full badminton match televised because television executives think it is a “sissy sport.” Sissy, my #$$ — put them on the receiving end of a 200 mph smash and they will quickly learn they are wrong.

And look at the stupid sports that are now included in the Olympics. You can get an Olympic medal in beach vollyeball, for pity’s sake, even though that isn’t a sport at all except in the minds of the marketers who sell beer and vacations. But you cannot get an Olympic medal in real sports like Ultimate frisbee (which is like a full-court press in basketball for a full hour on a field the size of a soccer field), or Freestyle frisbee (which is like gymnastics except much more difficult, and far more interesting to watch).

Then, too, Mr. Crankypants no longer watches much of anything on television. If he were to watch Olympics coverage at all, he wants to see every event streamed live online, with video archives available after the event is over. If the American television networks would allow that, then they could devote all their broadcast hours to the “human interest” stories, which is what gives them the highest ratings, so everyone would be happy.

No, Mr. Crankypants will not be watching the Olympics on television. There is nothing there that he wants to watch. Pfeh.

Exclusive interview

Today, I was granted an official interview with Owen, the dog who has recently declared himself a third-party presidential candidate. We spoke in his back yard during a game of fetch — Owen said he would answer one question for every toss of the tennis ball. Here’s a full transcript of our interview:

Owen, what’s your energy policy?

I have lots of energy! Throw the ball!

What will you do about Iraq, if you are elected?

I’ll give everybody lots of treats! And I’ll bring the troops home!

What do you think of Paris Hilton?

Sorry, but any human who keep their dog in a purse is not to be trusted.

Would you like to comment on the other two candidates?

I like them! Let’s go for a walk!

Owen ended the interview at this point, so that Jean, his campaign manager, could drive him to the woods to go for a walk. I was allowed to accompany them on the walk (it was very difficult keeping up with the candidate, who is in excellent physical condition and ran the whole time), but I agreed that I would not print any of our unofficial conversation. I can say, however, that recently Owen has learned how to swim and he’s quite good at it.

State fair

Today, my sister Jean took me to the Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis. We spent about six hours at the fair. On the drive home again, Jean asked, “What was your favorite part?”

“The chickens,” I said. “I walked down this one aisle of chickens, and one of them went roh-ah-roh-ah-roh, and then another one responded, and then another one, and another one. And then they stopped for a minute, until another one of them started in crowing. What was your favorite part?”

“The Percherons,” Jean immediately responded. We had gone into the draft horse barn to visit the Percherons early in the day, and stayed long enough to see some of the draft horse competitions later in the evening. “But,” added Jean, “I also liked the Shetland sheep. They were so cute, and all fuzzy, with the little feet, just like a cartoon sheep.”

“And we got good Fair junk,” I added.

“Like what?” asked Jean. “What did you get at the fair? I didn’t see you buy anything.”

I reminded her that we had both gotten free Indiana University tote bags at the IU booth;– and that when we stopped at the deep-fried vegetables stand, my large soda had come in a 24 ounce plastic cup emblazoned with the “Dr. Vegetable Deep Fried Veggies” logo on the side.

“Oh, that,” she said. She was just jealous because her 24 ounce plastic cup is boring and merely states “Fresh Squeezed — Ice Cold LEMONADE” on the side.

It was a very satisfying day at the fair.

Percherons at the State Fair

Jean watching one of the excellent horsewomen
at the Ladies Percheron Cart competition at the Indiana State Fair.

Liveblogging from the highway

Sitting here at a highway rest area outside Buffalo, New York, I have a few observations about highway rest areas:

  1. All the rest areas on the New York State Thruway have free wifi. This is good.
  2. Some rest areas no longer have water fountains (it’s as if they’re trying to force you to buy bottled water). This is bad.
  3. The rest area on the Mass Turnpike between I-290 and I-84 has a farmers market on Saturday mornings in season. This is good.
  4. None of the rest areas I have stopped at today have picnic tables — if you bring your own food (as I did), you wind up sitting in your car to eat. This is bad.
  5. My ’93 Toyota Camry got 34.4 miles per gallon. This is good.
  6. At the rest area where I bought gas today, there was a TV over the gas pump, playing some stupid daytime TV show. This is bad.

New third-party candidate

I have been an avid supporter of C’thulhu for president (“Why choose a lesser evil when you can have the greatest evil of all?”). However, I admit that I have been bothered by the Elder God Party’s platform — “Bow down in fear, pitiful minion, and prepare to meet your doom” — is just too similar to the platforms of the Democratic Party and Republican Party. I want a third-party candidate who can differentiate him/her/itself from the major party candidates.

I recently learned that a new third-party candidate, Owen W. Indy Roosevelt Jones Jr., has announced that he will be running for president. Owen (he likes to be on a first name basis with people) has formed a new party, the Richmond Canine Party, colloquially known as the “Let’s Go to the Dogs Party.” In an exclusive interview with blogger Writewrite, Owen has revealed his platform:

“Food, water, shots, walks, dog parks, treats, belly rubs, fetch. For everyone.” Then he grinned, really big. “And all dogs get to sleep on the bed.”…

He wagged his tail, picked up his tennis ball, and asked to go out and start the campaign.

Now that’s a candidate I can support.

Email: curse or blessing?

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll know that I have a love/hate relationship with email. Actually, I mostly hate email. But that may change….

Carol, my partner, found a great book on using email. Starting with the idea that many of us are being overwhelmed with “info-glut,” the authors of The Hamster Revolution: How To Manage Email Before It Manages You contend that we have to give serious consideration to how we use email. They say that much of the time, we use email when we should be using some other communication method, and that too often we write confusing email messages. The authors give good, practical advice about writing email messages (e.g., use bullet points instead of a long-winded narrative). They give clear guidelines about how to use other forms of communication (e.g., using IM when you need immediate feedback, etc.).

I’m still reading the book, but it’s got enough good tips in it that I wanted to let you know about it right away. You can find out more about the book on their Web site: http://hamsterrevolution.com/.