Category Archives: Arts & culture

Garrison Keillor, righteous Christian, defender of Christmas

Dan is still down with a chest cold so Mr. Crankypants is ba-ack!

Mr. Crankypants finally decided to read the Garrison Keillor column in Salon that trashes “Unitarians.” It’s a mildly amusing little column; there are enough factual errors that one can’t help chuckling now and then.

For instance, Garry Keillor says that “You can blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite. He preached here at the First Church of Cambridge, a Unitarian outfit….” Except Emerson never preached at First Church. A simple Web search would have revealed that First Church in Cambridge is affiliated with the United Church of Christ. The Unitarian Universalist church in Camnbridge, where Emerson delivered the famous “Divinity School Address,” is called “First Parish.” (A more obscure point is whether Emerson in fact ever actually preached at First Parish.) It’s always amusing when a well-known writer does not know how to do simple online fact-checking.

Garry Keillor also says: “Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice…, and that’s their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite ‘Silent Night.’  ” Except that Keillor’s favorite words are the rewrite, or more precisely a bad translation of the original German. The current Unitarian Universalist hymnal offers two translations of the German words written by Josef Mohr in 1816: there’s Keillor’s favorite (woefully inaccurate) translation; and on the facing page there’s pretty good translation along with the first verse in the original German. (If you want to be a real Christmas purist, be like Mr. Crankypants and sing the original German words, which are much prettier.) It’s always amusing when a well-known writer tries to be a pompous purist but winds up being an ignoramus.

And Garry Keillor says: “Christmas does not need any improvements. It is a common ordinary experience that resists brilliant innovation. Just… sing softly in dim light about the poor man gathering winter fu-u-el….” Except that the line about “gathering winter fuel” is from the song “Good King Wenceslas,” which is a song about St. Stephen’s feast day, which is December 26. Sure, most people sing it at Christmas time. But a Christmas purist like Keillor, who despises “all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys,” should know better. It’s definitely amusing when a self-declared “Christian” writer tries to be a Christmas purist, but lacks the requisite liturgical and theological knowledge.

The sad thing is that with people like Garrison Keillor advocating for Christmas, it’s no wonder the New Atheists dismiss Christians. Come to think of it, those who consider themselves Christians may prefer not to be associated with a bitter, ignorant, intolerant ass like Keillor.

German words to “Silent Night / Stille Nacht” below the fold: Continue reading →

The bean counters win again

Mr. Crankypants read today that Neilsen Business Media has made the decision to close Kirkus Reviews, according to the Kirkus Reviews web site. No doubt librarians everywhere will mourn its death, as Kirkus Reviews has long been a source of excellent, honest book reviews; as for Mr. Crankypants, he mourns the loss of a motherlode of snark.

So why did Nielsen kill Kirkus? The L.A. Times reported that Nielsen purchased Kirkus Reviews as part of a trade publication group that included ten periodic; yet Nielsen sold most of the other titles, including Billboard and (gag) Brandweek. Says the L.A. Times, “It was unclear why a buyer had not been found for Editor and Publisher [a trade journal covering newspapers] and Kirkus. A Nielsen Business Media company spokesman said they were ‘no longer aligned with our strategy’.”

Nielsen killed Kirkus because the beancounters won again: short-term profits and laziness once again triumphed over intellectual and cultural importance.

Originally found on.

He’s another Unitarian Universalist

In an article dated December 11, with a Raleigh, N.C., dateline, the Associated Press reported on a ruckus surrounding a local election: “Asheville City Councilman Cecil Bothwell believes in ending the death penalty, conserving water and reforming government — but he doesn’t believe in God. His political opponents say that’s a sin that makes him unworthy of serving in office, and they’ve got the North Carolina Constitution on their side.”

Opponents are threatening a lawsuit, saying that the North Carolina state constitution requires political office holders to believe in God. Of course, the U.S. Constitution does not permit religious tests of any kind for elected officials. As is so often the case, it seems that there is very little religion in this political battle:– “Bothwell said a legal challenge to his appointment would be ‘fun,’ but believes his opponents’ efforts have more to do with politics than religious beliefs.”

You will not be surprised to learn that Bothwell is a Unitarian Universalist. Bothwell’s home town newspaper, the Asheville [N.C.] Citizen-Times provides more details about Bothwell’s precise theological position than the Associate Press report. As it turns out, Bothwell is not exactly an atheist…. Continue reading →

Country Joe, a UU?

A ten-year-old thread on the Mudcat folk music Web site* claims that both Country Joe MacDonald and Melanie belonged to Liberal Religious Youth, the old Unitarian Universalist youth organization.

Can any of you out there confirm that this is true? I’m sure neither one is still a Unitarian Universalist, but it would still be fun if they were in LRY.

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* This was a thread on folk musicians with a Unitarian Universalist connection who used their music to promote social justice. The obvious names came up: Pete Seeger, Malvina Reynolds, Utah Phillips, Ric Masten, Fred Small, along with other less well-known folkies. They missed Daryl Anger, but he only started attending a UU church in 2004.

“If my God hates those who hate him, I ought to do as my God does, and I will hate them too.”

I was driving to work this morning, listening to the local liberal talk radio program on KQED. One of the guests this morning was a conservative Christian of some kind, who was involved with some “Christian social group” on the campus of UC Hastings. The host, Michael Krasny, mentioned that this Christian social group did not allow gay and lesbian members.

The Christian fellow, whose name I did not catch, hastened to correct him. He said something like this: We do allow gays and lesbians; this is not about orientation, it is about behaviors. We do not allow our members to have sex outside of marriage, and we do not allow them to have homosexual sex; but if a gay or lesbian was willing to abide by our traditional Christian views of sex and marriage, then they are welcome to join our group. We want everyone to experience what it is to live in Christ, etc. etc.

I listened to this fellow’s tone of voice as he was talking, rather than the standard conservative-Christian content of what he was saying. His tone of voice was defensive, as was only natural, given that he was on a liberal talk radio program. But I also heard smugness, and complacency, and sanctimoniousness, and rigidity. I realized I have heard that exact same tone of voice hundreds of times, and when I hear that tone of voice it always makes me want to insist that I am not a Christian, that I do not believe in that God, and that while I am a follower of Jesus of Nazareth, my Jesus has nothing whatever to do with their Christ.

And then I remembered something written by Hosea Ballou in 1805 that applies to people like this Christian fellow on the radio. Ballou writes:

“Idolatry is the sin of worshipping that which is not, in reality, the true God…. An Almighty [God], omnipresent, infinitely wise and good, may be talked of; but his wisdom, power and goodness must be denied; and he must be a great many millions of miles off, fixed to a certain place, yet everywhere present; infinitely wise, and powerful, yet suffers an everlasting violation of his will;… loves some of his creatures, and hates others; is pleased and displeased with the conduct of his creatures; is perfectly unchangeable, yet loves at one time, and, at another, hates the same object. Such an idol will answer for thousands. Now what are the consequences? Answer, one nation supposes itself the only favorite of God; other people are haters of him, and hated by him. If my God hates those who hate him, I ought to do as my God does, and I will hate them too…. Reader, turn over the pages of history, calculate the rivers of blood which have been shed on account of religious disputes, and ask yourself the question, Is this religion worthy of a Supreme Being?”

[excerpted from A Treatise on Atonement, chapter 3.]

And, dear religious liberals, before you get too smug….

So we religious liberals have let the conservative Christians set up their idol here in America, their false God, a God who hates the majority of humanity, teaches his followers to hate, teaches his followers to start wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and who condemns billions of people to eternal torture. And in response to this false idol, this false God, what do we religious liberals do? In our turn, too often we hate all gods, refuse to let anyone mention the word “God,” hate the conservative Christians, and when we talk about religion we use a tone of voice that is defensive, smug, complacent, sanctimonious, and rigid, all at the same time.

Hosea Ballou offers us another path: We can engage critically with the Bible and the Christian tradition that is so much a part of Western culture. We can use reason, humor, and good common sense to come to our own understanding of the Bible, one of the central books of our Western tradition. We can follow truth, instead of letting others impose their false idols on us.

Nonprofit Christmas shopping

For many nonprofit institutions, this is not going to be a very merry Christmas. Take Sing Out!, for example, a nonprofit devoted to supporting folk music, and to “making music a part of our everyday lives.” Over the years, Sing Out! has published songs from people like Woodie Guthrie, Pat Humphries, Emmylou Harris, Mississippi John Hurt, Cordelia’s Dad, Pete Seeger, etc., etc. Like Seeger, Sing Out! gives lots of emphasis to socially conscious songs and music. It’s a good organization. I want them to survive.

Well, I don’t have much money this year, but I always try to do some charitable giving at Christmas time — after I give money to Heifer Project, I’m thinking maybe I’ll give give some money to Sing Out!. I suppose if I were a Christmas-gift-giver, I could give subscriptions to Sing Out! magazine, or buy a few Rise Up Singing books to give as gifts.

I suppose the mall owners and the big box stores need us to shop there so they can pay their workers starvation wages. But I think maybe I’ll spend my small Christmas budget with nonprofit organizations instead.

Black Friday

Someone at church was telling me this morning about to the mall on Black Friday, the big shopping day after Thanksgiving. “We got to the mall at 6 a.m.,” Ms. X said enthusiastically, “and already there were no parking places left!” To me, this sounds horrible, but to Ms. X it was all a big adventure. I’m a cheap New England Yankee, I think of shopping as a pragmatic, thrifty venture:– you shop only when it is efficient to do so, and you shop as little as possible in order to spend as little money as possible. I never go shopping on Black Friday because I don’t want to waste time in traffic, and I don’t want to be tempted into buying things I neither want nor need.

But I forget that for many Americans, shopping is an adventure, a hobby, and a sport combined;– and Black Friday is the Olympics, the Everest, the ultimate moment for the serious shopper — the moment you’ve been training for all year long. Judge not someone else’s hobby unless you want your own hobbies judged by them.

Walking in a winter delusion

Mr. Crankypants went to the grocery store yesterday. The piped-in music had a woman’s voice whining about dreaming of a white Christmas. On the drive home, Mr. Crankypants turned on a vapid classical music radio station. They were playing an overly cheerful recording of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland,” as performed by the Pops Orchestra of the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople. Later in the day, Mr. Crankypants walked down the street. Some store window displays featured bizarre-looking fake snow.

Apparently, Christmas consumerism in the San Francisco Bay area must include bizarre fantasies of cold weather, deep snow, sleighing, and other things that are extremely unlikely to happen in this climate. Mr. Crankypants believes that this is the strongest evidence yet that the Christmas consumer season has morphed from a marketing ploy into a full-blown psycho-pathological delusion.

As Ebeneezer Scrooge put it so eloquently: “Bah. Humbug. Christmas humbug psychosis.”