John Hurley, the Director of Communications at the UUA, came bursting in to the Webworkers’ room this morning and said, Look at this!” He was holding a copy of the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel open to an article about General Assembly. The headline read: “3,000 clergy gather for national assembly.”

Oops. Actually, we have 3,000 total people here, probably less than a quarter of whom are ordained clergy; there are probably a thousand Unitarian Universalist clergy all told. And, as John gleefully pointed out, the first person interviewed in the article was a 17 year old, whom one would think would appear unlikely to be an ordained minister. This article provided some much-needed entertainment for a bunch of weary Webworkers.

The headline got corrected in the online edition, but the 17 year old is still called “clergy”:

Fort Lauderdale – As a Unitarian Universalist, Nick Allen embraces racial diversity and social justice — both in society and within his religion.

“We believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person, so clearly that calls on us to address issues of racism,” said Allen, 17, a high school senior from St. Paul, Minn. Allen helped run an anti-racism seminar for teenagers at a gathering of the predominantly white Unitarian Universalist Association General Assembly on Saturday. “One of the goals is to ask ‘why are we so white? And why aren’t we more diverse?'”

Allen was among 3,000 clergy this week who mulled these and other weighty religious, social and cultural issues at the Broward Convention Center. Some attended worship services, while others participated in workshops on topics ranging from protecting civil liberties to forming grass roots organizations. The event began Wednesday and runs through today.

Aside from that error, it’s a pretty good article, and you can read it here.

Generally speaking, Mr. Crankypants hates General Assembly:– too many Unitarian Universalists in too small a space; too much denominational politics; too much lousy food.

But this General Assembly is made worse by the fact that the Fort Lauderdale Convention Center is just sad. Forget the fact that the Broward County sheriffs check your I.D. when you walk in, which is demeaning and stupid and outraging, but it is not sad. No, Mr. Crankypants will tell you what is sad about this convention center. It is sad that most of the meeting rooms smell of mold. It is sad that they charge three dollars for a smallish cup of bad iced tea. It is sad that the projection screens in the meeting rooms are those old-fashioned pull-down screens on those little fold-up tripods, and they all look like they were purchased second-hand about thirty years ago.

Mr. Crankypants wants to slip gently out of the convention center and skip the rest of General Assembly and go lie on Fort Lauderdale’s beautiful beaches. Unfortunately, Mr. Crankypants is so white that even with SPF 153 sunscreen, he would burn to a crisp under the South Florida sun in about ten seconds.

Sigh.