Recently, I heard some new verses for the parody version of “Old Time Religion.” Here they are:
Yoruba religion, a.k.a. Orisha devotion:
Let us pray to the Orishas,
Not the ones who are too vicious,
Just the ones who grant our wishes;
And that’s good enough for me!
Ancient Egyptian religion:
O we sing the praise of Horus
Like the Dynasties before us —
A three thousand year old chorus;
And that’s good enough for me!
Worshiping at the altar of Wall Street:
The mighty Dollar is my Savior,
She controls my ev’ry behavior
Whether I spend her or I save her;
And that’s good enough for me!
I was particularly interested in these verses because they happened to be about three religions I am currently studying. And lest you think I’m kidding about Wall Street being a religion, you might want to check out Scott Gustafson’s new book At the Altar of Wall Street: The Rituals, Myths, Theologies, Sacraments, and Mission of the Religion Known as the Modern Global Economy (Eerdmans Publishing, Sept., 2015), in which the author “argues that economics functions in our current global culture as religions have functioned in other cultures.”
Let us party with the Druids,
Drinking strange fermented fluids,
Running naked through the woo-ids,
And that’s good enough for me!
I always loved this verse, not because I’m a Druid or love Naturism, but probably because of just how far they stretch the rhyming structure. Most of the Druids I know do all their rituals with lots of robes and don’t seem to run at all. As to the strange, fermented fluids…I’ll take the 5th.
David, I used to hang out with some witches, and a couple of times for the winter solstice ritual I contributed strange fluids fermented from apples. I’m not saying I drank them nor that I fermented them (like you pleading the 5th), but I did contribute them.